Hey Friends
i am so frustrated right now. the last 6 months have been really rough ED wise. And now my body can't handle anymore. I went to the doctor last week after having my blood taken and it wasn't so good. My blood sugars really spiked up in the last 3 months. And now the doctor wants me to go off the abilify for depression and obcessive thoughts. So we came up with a compromise that i would start taking metformin. again. I hate that medication with a passion. It makes you feel like you have the flu 24/7. Not only that but my vitamin d level dropped despite being on prescription strength vitamin d. Sometimes i wish i could get a break with something. why do i have to struggle with everything? It is so hard to manage an eating disorder and pcos. As if that wasn't enough to mess with my eating disordered mind i also gained weight :( which has been messing with my mind alot. I am exhausted mentally and phsyically trying to do everythng i am supposed to do with recovery. SO i think it is time for a visit with amy the dietician and work on a meal plan that will help get some of my blood levels back where they should be. So i am giving up ed. i am doing it amy and sabra's way. After all all you do is cause me more pain and make me more exhausted. I want to learn who i really am. i have a few glimpses of that person and she seems like a lot of fun :)
I am now working one day a week in the breastfeeding clinic. And guess what?! i absolutely love it! It is one of the most rewarding things in my life to see a baby successfully breastfeed and to see the pride in a mom's face. It is so cool to have the knowledge to know what to look for when breastfeeding isn't going so well and to be able to problem solve with the mom.
Well i think that is it friends. sorry it has been so long since the last blog.
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